#my equivalent of catnip now

[chestersbraincell]

is a tool that should be used carefully. Dude my brain actually disintegrated into a fluid-like state. "Dude this edible aint shiiiiiii" type of deal. Eyes unfocused and all

[salvadorbonaparte]

May 2025 in Films

The Tenant (1976) - A guy moves into a shitty apartment after the previous tenant jumped out the window. He becomes increasingly paranoid and starts crossdressing. I hate Roman Polanski as much as the next person but it is kinda fun to watch him get forcefemmed because of an apartment that doesn't even have a bathroom.

A Taxi Driver (2017) - a reactionary taxi driver becomes radicalized after accidentally agreeing to drive a German journalist into an uprising. Korean cinema perfected tonal shifts and I laughed and cried so many times watching this. powerful. one of my few 5 start films this year so far.

The Eye (2002) - A blind violinist gets eye surgery and can see ghosts now. The effects are actually pretty cool. The film kinda rips off Ring in the second half but who can blame them.

Memories of Murder (2003) - Cops trying to catch a serial killer in the 1980s using rather problematic techniques. Film really says ACAB. I first thought this was a little over-rated but the ending was simply so so good.

Phantom: The Submarine (1999): A fun little action thriller about a mutiny on a top secret nuclear submarine entirely staffed by personnell declared dead.

Wild Prairie Rose (2016) - a period romance that feels really hallmarkesque but at least they cast a Deaf actor.

Illang: The Wolf Brigade (2018) - not very good but very stylized. Ever watched something so grim-dark it becomes camp? I kinda lost the plot watching this but something something special police units something something terrorism.

District B13 (2004) - a banlieueu action film about a bomb. Soundtrack and stunts are really good like the main actor is the guy who invented parkour. But this film only has one female character and she's a damsel in distress. twice.

Mal-Mo-E: The Secret Mission (2019) - a film about the creation of the first Korean dictionary during Japanese rule. Catnip for a language nerd like me. Yeah, I cried.

The Quiet Family (1998) - a fun little horror comedy about a family opening a bed and breakfast and guests keep dying there.

The Happiness of the Katakuris (2001) - a remake of The Quiet Family but with musical numbers and claymation animation elements now. Trippy.

Welcome to Dongmakgol (2005) - Set in the Korean War with groups of South and North Korean soldiers, plus an American pilot, getting stuck in a remote village unaware of the war. Tragic and funny, this should be a mandatory viewing for anyone who likes M*A*S*H.

Secret Sunshine (2007) - a woman loses her husband in a car crash and her child in a kidnapping. She initially finds solace in Christianity but then starts a kind of one-woman holy war and Jeon Do-yeon is like a force of nature in this. Her grief manifests like physical illness and she is like a storm cloud ready to wreak havoc. Song Kang-ho has a secondary role as an obnoxious simp.

Final Destination (2000) - Fun (and relatable if you have anxiety) horror film about trying to cheat death.

Crazy Moon (1987) - a fun, eccentric romance between Kiefer Sutherland as a Manic Pixie Dream Boy and a Deaf woman (played by a Deaf actress).

Harbin (2024) - Pretty cool historical drama about Korean resistance against the Japanese but also very long and I struggled to tell the characters apart because they literally all have the same outfit, hairstyle and beard and walk around Manchuria in winter.

The Restless (2006) - a deeply romantic wuxia-esque film about a demon hunter finding himself in the after life and meeting his Dead Wife who doesn't remember him because she became whatever the equivalent of an angel is for Taoists (?). I love a tragic romance and we get lots of heart eyes in this film and about a metric ton of rose petals.

Final Destination 2 (2003) - we're all traumatized by that log truck aren't we?

Il Mare (2000) - weird little romance in two different time lines. The cooking scenes were kinda hot?

Meeting Dr. Sun (2014) - two groups of poor students compete to steal a statue of Sun Yat-sen to finance their school fees in this teenage heist film. The stakes are simultaneously so low and so high. Very class-conscious and still funny.

Farewell my Concubine (1993) - microdosing on Beijing Opera by watching a 3 hour long drama about opera singers in the political turmoil of 20th century China. If I was that other guy I would have simply fallen in love with Leslie Cheung and none of that would have happened. Seriously, he was so pretty in this.

Yourself and Yours (2016) - Not really my cup of tea and very confusing but I appreciate that this is just Freud's Uncanny with all that doubling and repetition.

Thirst (2009) - A priest dies during a medical experiment to cure a disease but gets resurrected as a vampire and now he's...horny. Park Chan-wook has a real talent for making films that feel tailor made for me to enjoy. Maybe I'm just too ace and find most sex scenes equal but some people were way too disturbed by some of the fetish stuff like of course there was foot stuff in this, it's basic Jesus imagery, get over it.

My Brother (2004) - a drama about two brothers. One is a talented writer, artist, med student, but has a disability, the other feels neglected by his mum and becomes a gangster. Shin Ha-kyun is in this and he's a tragic little guy, again.

Broker (2022) - a "found family" drama about two men who steal babies from baby boxes, a desperate young mother, a child orphan, and the cops chasing them. Giggling and twirling my hair every time Song Kang-ho is on screen. Still, the film was slightly lacking something.

My Son (2007) - a prisoner with a life sentence is allowed to see his son for the first time in 15 years. I kept waiting for a heartbreaking plot twist and wasn't disappointed.

Pulgasari (1985) - a film with an even crazier story behind the film than the plot. A North Korean kaiju-golem saving a village from feudalism but then turning into a metaphor for either communism or capitalism depending on how much you think the abducted South Korean director was trying to make a point.

I Saw the Devil (2010) - a serial killer quickly and painfully realizes that murdering the fiance of a secret agent is perhaps a bad idea. Your "typical" Korean revenge thriller with all the blood and violence and complicated morals in the sense that it absolutely slaps holy shit.

Joint Security Area (2000) - A South Korean soldier kills two North Korean soldiers in the DMZ and a Swiss official has to figure out what happened. Absolutely heartbreaking film on the same emotional level as the Christmas Truce of 1914. This should be a mandatory viewing for anyone who likes M*A*S*H too.

Swing Kids (2018) - What if the musician subplot from the M*A*S*H finale was about tap dancing instead? What if it was from the pov of a North Korean pow learning to tap dance? This is that movie.

[soveryanon]

Akai mostly hanging around Yuusaku&Yukiko lately is catnip to me.

I love how Yukiko keeps gushing about how handsome Akai is - to her husband, in front of her kid, in front of the whole world on camera airing live while impersonating her husband, no shame whatsoever, Yukiko is living her best life.

It had also been her first impression ten years ago!

Courtesy of Sera, we know that Yukiko was wearing make-up when visiting Akai-Subaru to help him with his disguise~ (And that's not a glass for water, uh).

(GA also said he liked to think that Yukiko calls Akai "Shuu-chan"... SHUU-CHAN...)

Akai himself is shown mostly appreciative of her help, and a bit amused!

And Yuusaku.

There is something incredibly insane about Yuusaku having written a whole script, BLATANTLY BASED ON AKAI, that went on to receive a PRESTIGIOUS AWARD, while he had heard about Akai's existence a few months ago (at most)?

"Wizard of the Ripples" wasn't only about the two future Silver Bullets meeting; it was also Akai&Yuusaku (and Shinichi) solving the case in parallel, without meeting, with Yukiko as the only witness.

And Yuusaku&Akai have been talking and theorizing together - they're the ones who got the "KARASUMA" riddle, and Yuusaku&Yukiko immediately teamed up with Akai when they thought Vermouth could be after them (bringing the rest of the FBI along, but we saw Akai directing the bug-sweeping operations afterward and he had stayed with the Kudous in their room).

Much to Conan's dismay, Yuusaku&Yukiko&Akai have been in cahoots together... and inflicted the Akai&Shinichi Strategy on Shinichi himself.

Look at Conan being kept of the loop, for once - he might have engineered the meeting between Furuya and Akai&the Kudous (Furuya, at least, estimated that he was behind it), but he doesn't know enough of what transpired since... he doesn't get the "tea party" reference (Yukiko asking around which tea the guests would like to drink).

And in return, Akai has so much respect for Yuusaku's strategizing... that he has no problem receiving small dispatching orders from Yuusaku, and that he doesn't hesitate to tell his own boss to wait it out for Yuusaku's advice. Just normal things to do, he's basically the Kudous' (watch)dog at this point!

(Akai still thinks that the FBI plans tend to suck, but NOW he has someone they can refer to for guidance.)

I love the small details added in the anime adaptation that Furuya was absolutely dumbfounded upon seeing the Kudous, when he infiltrated the manor, and seeked out confirmation from Akai that what was unfolding was actually happening for real. Akai's little nod, as he's vouching for Yuusaku&Yukiko!

^that's his "Aren't my sugar parents cool, Rei-kun? :D" face.

It's also extremely logical that, since the Kudous are back, Akai doesn't need to stay disguised as "Subaru" while indoors anymore (the Kudous can now answer and welcome any guest, invited or not)... but it also means that Akai is now seen roaming inside of the house WITH HIS HAIR BARE TO THE WORLD AND IN COSY SWEATERS, AND???

This is absolutely depraved, coming from him?!

(HIS BARE! HAIR! WITHOUT THE BEANIE?! SHOWING HIS MOST INTIMATE PART?!)

(It also makes me emotional that he seems to be reverting to a fashion style that feels like home - very close to Tsutomu 17 years ago. He's fine! He's in his healing arc, being sugarbabied and offered tea and mystery to solve!)

My overall points are:

the first episodes with Yuusaku&Yukiko gave me the impression that they're in an open relationship, with lots of occasional nonsense and jealousy (and Shinichi knows, guesses too much, doesn't want to hear anything about this nonsense and has been very happy to live far away from it for the last few years)

Akai, who isn't married to his childhood friend, and who has dated TWO DIFFERENT PERSONS, DO YOU REALIZE HOW UNHEARD-OF THAT IS IN THIS UNIVERSE, is the DCMK-verse equivalent of promiscuous.

In conclusion: they fork, your honour.

[dr9com9ge-ix]

Were there any ideas that you considered for your Sprunki AU before scrapping it at the last minute?

So alot of Sunshine suburbia is like- Being developed still! So “Last minute” isn’t really that… Applicable? I’ll just list a bunch of things I remember changing. (Also the delays and inactivity isn’t a loss of interest- Its more so I’ve grown a bit busier with having a job for a moment!— Also headaches ow)

- Most of the character bios (aka the initial design posts) on this account are technically outdated compared to the sprunkisunshinesuburbia blog’s, especially like… A bunch of designs (I stare at OWACKX/Oz’s old design and shudder…)

And like portions like “Raddy was a bounty hunter” etc- Aka don’t really take too much of the info of those posts as canon to the au.

- Deciding all sprunkis have tails of some sort, For mostly just “Tails are cool. This makes them more interesting silhouette-wise” and like it makes me happy they’re a little less ‘ just a colorful human’ and more ‘Colorful critter!” This especially applied to Jevin who uh… I was almost gonna leave as is but people kept making bald jokes and I was getting a little annoyed.

Actually not a little! Very annoyed. But the current design I made is like… My favorite now so at least the bald jokes made something good happen! (I also REALLY didn’t wanna give him poofy emo boy hair I’ve seen alot because like… Idk I just did not think it fit him for whatever reason and also I think he should be allowed to be a little bald… as a treat.)

- During christmas, My friend Mira gave me the design for Luxia, The Lighthouse creature so she and some more characters got incorporated into the story. Initially the town was only going to have Glowe and Therman as sort of duo running the town but then it became 4 people when I made Syno and Nymn aka the Lighthouse keepers. (Wonderful Art below by @knightmira )

- Also making Glowe and Therman a biiit older than like late twenties— They where formerly like 20+ but I went “That’s a little young to be founding an ENTIRE town” so I tacked on a decade. I also think people should be less scared of making characters older than 20 or something.

- Making Tunner actually have a horse- Its now a weird critter thats horse-like but not a horse! It’s called a honse! (Very different I know but I think it’s funny and it stuck) A bunch of the critter designs (Including Honses and Blinkers) are by my pal Aqua! Also the doodle below is of Tunner’s Honse, Cornbread! Possibly from an earlier period… She’s an ol’ girl. She’d be alot scruffier but he takes good care of her.

- Having like… “Normal” animals. I’m a big proponent of “I could do MORE with the world building!!! There’s NO way critters on Cacophony would be exactly the same as earth animals!!!!!” so like— Making equivalents/counterparts for certain animals! Like cats- I’m telling you now that they’re called “Meows” in this solely because I think sprunkis would call alot of animals after their sounds. (Not all- But like some of em)

- Similar to the animals- Some plants are more fantastical. I say this specifically because like. In Vineria’s old bio on this blog that she smokes weed- It’s actually Sprunknip now! It’s a bit siller- Works like weed and catnip to sprunkis!

- Sky’s age- I actually for awhile thought he was 15 but actually he’s 14. This one is literally just me forgetting and then remembering.

I think! That’s about it? Idk what else to put here!

[safetycar-restart]

So I was doing a deep dive on your account cause your stuff is gold 👌🏻👌🏻and I found this post

https://www.tumblr.com/safetycar-restart/716054638514896896/hey-shels-i-hope-you-are-feeling-much-better-now

And the farm au! Oh my god it lit up my brain like nothing else… and cause I too love angst…

Bunny Charles and Arthur being used to being spoiled bunnies, living the high life, all luxurious life but then their dom realized just how needy and dependent and expensive keeping two bunnies are and they do the equivalent of dropping them off on the side of the road in a box… so now poor bunnies are out in the cold harsh world and just don’t know what to do…

They just start walking back in the direction of home because maybe Dom made a mistake? and forgot them? But it’s a long cold walk and when the sun sets they see a warm light in the distance - your little cottage and farm, gardens full of yummy food and a welcoming warmth.

You wake up to two bunnies curled up in front of the fire place, covered in dirt with tear tracks

Or maybe you have a stall in the local farmers market and one day you hear just gut wrenching yips coming from the nearest alley and when you check it out — cat!max is there hiding and nursing a broken tail. Maybe his dad was yanking on his tail as a punishment and it broke/sprained it and max lashed out and ran away. Obviously you can’t leave poor kitty by himself, so you grab some of your supplies and spend the day slowly getting max used to you to allow you close enough to bandage his tail up. When you finally do that, he’s just curled up in your lap purring and out of his mind on catnip and genuine love and care and he just follows you home when you go to leave

Or maybe your farm is in an area with a lot of hunters and you’re taking a small hike cause it’s a gorgeous day for when you hear pained howling. Wolf!pierre and Carlos are caught in a bear trap or up a tree in some netting and it looks like they’ve been there for a while. You quickly get to work in getting them free and coax them to come to your house to fix them right up.

Or maybe you finally feel that you’ve settled nicely into your new farm and decide that it’s time to think about finding a hybrid for company. Maybe it’s luck or maybe it’s fate but you meet the pair of cat!oscar and dog!logan - they’ve bonded and won’t be separated but everyone they’ve tried stay with only wanted one not both…

(Like I said ☺️🙈 this ask sent like fireworks through my mind (love love love your writing!!!) -🦚)

I've had this ask in my askbox for months and oh my god every time I read it I get obsessed. I hadnt answered it yet because I knew I needed to set aside quite a bit of time because I knew this would be so long 😂

Here is the link to the original post so you don't have to search the URL, I'd suggest giving this a quick read for context if you're confused. It's very short but does explain it all :))

Right okay so the general premise is this: you own a farm in the hybrid!au with all sorts of drivers that come along and join. We can do this as a poly type thing or we can do it just as you run a farm and one driver comes along, whatever you guys would like to discuss! I think I'll tag everything with 'farm!au' but then also add 'poly!farm!au' to any posts that involve any sort of poly situation.

All of the stuff discussed by the anon above are just so so so perfect!!!! I'm gonna discuss each idea in a bit more detail each under their own heading and then we can go from there :))

BUNNY!CHARLES AND BUNNY!ARTHUR:

Aw poor little bunnies!! My immediate thought was that maybe their original caretaker/owner had died and they were handed over to whoever their dom has chosen and that was very much the wrong choice. They do try to get along with their new caretaker, of course they do. But bunnies are by far the most high needs of all hybrids, they're social creatures and they need constant attention or else they'll get sad and lonely.

Maybe bunnies need attention from people who are not bunnies as well? They need caretakers who are gentle and attentive and when their new person cannot do that and they start acting out (they can't help it!! They want attention!!), yeah they end up on the side of the road.

I definitely think for these two you wouldnt even get an option. You sort of just walk into the living room and two bunny hybrids are sleeping next to the fireplace.

CAT!MAX:

I love the idea of finding Max outside somewhere like at a farmer's market. I think maybe his dad left him there not to abandon him but to teach him some sort of lesson? Max is just curled up trying to keep quiet and waiting for his dad to decide he's had enough punishment and come fetch him. You manage to convince him to come home with you, promising him that you just want to get him into some nice clean clothes and get a good meal in him and then you'll call his dad for him.

Except well... Max feels so safe with you? He keeps on forgetting himself and purring or gathering blankets. He's never felt this warm and cared for. You offer to let him stay the night and the next morning you're supposed to call his father like you promised but well... Needless to say that never happens.

WOLF!CARLOS AND WOLF!PIERRE:

I feel like these two would have started out as enemies but they were forced to stay together? Like maybe they got separated from the rest of their pack and only had each other. They became much closer and got used to just the two of them. They don't trust anyone else. They manage on their own and are almost feral?

But then one of them gets caught in bear trap. The one not trapped tries to free the other of course but they can't. It's the fear of losing their only person that leads them to come into your yard. Maybe they had seen you quite a few times? Like you live on the boarder of the forest and they often see you walking in your garden and in the forest and you always seem calm, so the one not trapped comes to find you.

You follow him to the other one and help free him. They try to scurry off but the one is too injured. You convince them both to come back with you and let you care for their injuries. And they just never end up leaving?

[theboytatu]

I think the same as u about exo being painfully straight but just for shits and giggles… if 2 members were to f with each other like that figuratively and literally who would it be? I’d say literally any pairing that is not popular due to logical reasons but curious to know what u think

this ask is the equivalent of waving catnip at a deranged evil cat... tysm for it <3

first of all i agree that popular pairings in exo are broke tier. like definitely boring predictable replicating heteronormative standards etc etc.

in my mind there is no pairing that could be compelling in this way if it didn't have baekhyun (obviously). now i have also gone on the record to say my favorite baekhyun pairing is xiubaek. and i fucking love the way minseok and him act around each other. so that's one of the answers i would go with... it's like. minseok said in an interview "whenever baekhyun gets too annoying i grab him by the back of the neck and pull him back". and that's literally real i didn't make it up btw. so the dynamic of brat/brat tamer definitely comes into play here. baekhyun seeing how far he can push a situation because he never learned how to leave well enough alone - and minseok slowly but surely getting to play the part of this stopgap for him. in my mind minseok is the canary in the coal mine for baekhyun - whenever he does some shit he just gauges minseok's reaction and depending on how annoyed he seems he dials it back or on the contrary - pushes even further so he will break him. and maybe see what he will get in turn as a punishment. because baekhyun may be a wild animal - a bad dog, a feral little thing - but at the end of the day something inside him tells him to go belly up when he sees minseok.

ANYWAY another pairing i think this works incredibly well with is junmyeon and sehun. junmyeon is actually halfway through a gay crisis and painfully whipped for sehun. this is canon btw. so whenever sehun gets into his mindset of bratty maknae - which is fairly often tbh - junmyeon is torn between doing the right, honorable thing and be a figure of authority and guidance for him... or letting himself be manipulated and goaded into whatever sehun feels like this week. you know mostly getting railed six ways to sunday but whatever. junmyeon is laughably and nervously just bumbling his way into whatever sehun has plotted but there's a point where he gives in because he wants it just as bad - because sehun has been used to getting his way since he has memory and junmyeon is wrapped around his little finger.

LASTLY.... oh god. I shan't even say. you know what. kaisoo and chanbaek may be the most popular ships in the fandom. and the fandom is fucking wrong. the REAL pairing with potential is chansoo.... there is just something about chanyeol being this happy laidback gentle giant.... and kyungsoo being four acorns tall and full of rage at all times. i think chanyeol being arguably most definitely the closest to kyungsoo in the group speaks of a bond that most shippers wish their faves had. I also think chanyeol is completely whipped and secretly enjoys being the only one that can get through to ksoo - and ksoo takes advantage of that fact. being used to playing second fiddle to baekhyun and getting increasingly pushed back by the company - kyungsoo really dgaf about popularity but he does feel like whatever fans see in the others plays a part into how he performs publicly in the group. and chanyeol works as a sort of anchor whenever he feels way too trapped in his own head. their level of intimacy can barely be understood. and sue me - size kink plays a part in it too because the tallest member being completely whipped and kneeling in the ground where the smallest member walks on... that's fucking crack to me.

anyway. thanks for coming to my ted talk

[zer0tox1c]

The Shishigumi has used silver vine and catnip before and those things are equivalent to drugs but i don't think they ever tried anything equivalent to weed brownies or pot cookies...they can blame Rain for introducing those things to them and having a wonderful but also traumatic LSD trip hehe

Rain: *crack knuckles* alright, it's time to introduce these cats to the 7th dimension

Jasira: should i do some grocery shopping?

Rain: YES! take my card and jeep and buy whatever you want oh and Ibuki is going with you

Jasira: sweet! at least someone is a gentleman and help me with the bags

An hour after grocery shopping i can already imagine Ibuki being a litte bit concerned with everyone states in Rain's living room cause everyone has different positions and location, Agata has a bucket in his hands, some are in a lion pile, Free is on the corner, and some are in a very questionable position but Rain is in the kitchen cooking

Ibuki at first ask Jasira if this is normal and she said yes which also followed by Rain saying yes quite loud from the kitchen, Rain explains that there's nothing to worry about and they'll be normal again in a couple of hours. Ibuki was relieved but became a little bit concerned when he notices that Rain's sclera was still pink.

Ibuki: Rain

Rain: yeah?

Ibuki: are you high?

Rain: oh yeah! Still am

Ibuki: don't you think that...you shouldn't be cooking right now?

Rain: oh I'm fine! I've done this a lot so i kind of like gain some kind of "immunity" unlike the others because it's their first time

Ibuki:..are you certain that they will be alright once they are back to normal?

Rain: they'll be fine Ibuki! Maybe a little bit traumatized but they're definitely fine and will be really hungry once they get down from their high

Ibuki: aa that would explain the shopping

[karliahs]

shinsou kidnapping… 2!!

shinsou kidnapping 2 my beloved <3 poorly named because there is in fact no kidnapping in this one

this one is the fic-writing equivalent of having dessert even though I never finished making dinner. without revealing too too much in case I do ever actually finish one of these, the previous fic sets up a dynamic which is somehow simultaneously shaky developing friendship and frantic codependency. it's catnip to me and I am rolling around in it.

also still featuring Shinsou's Loving Family, in recompense for all the other bad things that happen to him in this series. I love them...

a (rough, first draft-y) snippet:

“Actually—can I go home?”  Hitoshi hadn’t realised he was going to ask for it until the words were already out of his mouth, but now that he has he realises how much he aches for home. Not his new 1-A dorm room that still smells of fresh paint, not his old 1-C dorm room he never wanted to settle into too completely, but home: the creak on the front step, the bedsheets worn down to softness, the thump-thump-thump of Hifumi taking the stairs at a run every time. His dad’s voice, complaining that she was never in a hurry until it came to those stairs. His dad.  Hitoshi swallows hard and tries to sound like a hero student, not like a frightened child begging for home. “I—I know we don’t do midweek visits normally, but I’ll come back in the morning. I’ll get up early, I’ll—” “I'll take you home,” Aizawa interrupts before he can spiral any further. He thinks about protesting that he can get himself home, that he used to do it every day before the dorms, that he’s not even the one who’s sick—but in truth he has no idea what will happen if he’s left alone with his thoughts right now.

[growling]

I think yomi puts olives on his fingers, pretends to be a frog, and then eats the olives off his fingers

Hmmmmmm that would imply that Yomi is capable of maintaining restraint for long enough to perform such an action and not immediately lunge at the edible equivalent of catnip in uncontrollable frenzy........ But Finally, after years upon years of brutal endurance training, he has finally achieved what his friends and family (fake zilch and his ben shapiro body pillow, everybody else left) told him was impossible. The european tree frog swag

(nightly fun fact: olives contain iseprenoids, which is very similiar to nepetalactone, an active chemical in catnip. which is why cats and catboys alike can go absolutely bonkers for them and why making pizza is a nightmare in my house)

And Just before I opened the ask box today I've been making up another rain code oc do youy. do you want to see him. his name is Frauderic Scamuel Swindleton and he's an honest real businessman with a normal acceptable amount of passports in his possession and also kissing Yomi on the mouth for no nefarious reasons whatsoever. he started off as a self insert but something went wrong along the way and now he runs a ponzi scheme i guess😔

[rocketsagan-blog]

The Innkeeper Chronicles, by Ilona Andrews - A Review

or, the literary equivalent of my new favorite brand of potato chips, thank youuuuu!

NO SPOILERS - I finished the first installment of this series over the holidays, and I'm about halfway through number two, Sweep in Peace, when I just had to pause and announce -

THIS SERIES IS FUN

There is nothing wrong with being just flipping fun - but I wanted to use this as a parable that fun can be found behind deceiving displays. From my inclinations, the covers are boring, and the series titles are just too... bleh?? and not even really punny? NOTHING about the presentation of this book or the series really tickled my interests. The only thing that dragged me in and got me reading was the positive reviews on Hoopla - the number of consistent five stars was rather powerful for a library app where people will dump on literary classics for no reason. If you ever want to stare into the face of madness, look up your favorite haute-contour novel on any library app and weep at the number of dump reviews a perfectly good book will get.

When book one, sentence one, started with a dead dog, I nearly returned the loan right then. It wasn't gruesome, and it was over quickly and handled well, I'm just the kind of sensitive lil-gremlin-person who gets sad at the idea of a fictional creature being dead. BUT SO MANY GOOD REVIEWS! SOMETHING MUST BE HERE. I WILL KEEP ON! (and also, I only get so many loans on Hoopla - I wasn't going to give up until I was thoroughly sure this book wasn't working for me.)

So I kept reading. And reading. And then the book's hook set into my little brain, and I couldn't really stop. And then I needed to wait until the next month for my loans to refresh so I could get the next book in the series.

The way the world building works here just got me. The combo of fantasy and weird-science had me puzzling and imagining what lay just off the page, one of my favorite world-building things of all time. I kept going back to my partner to tell them little tidbits of what was happening until I was banned from rambling about the book because I was just spoiling the whole thing at a certain point, hahaha.

Now, to be clear, this book is light and fun - it has certain things that stick out which kind of showcase the playfulness and 'read in bed whilst swilling wine' about the story:

Does the book have a tall-hot-boy problem? Is every dude at least six feet tall, 'corded in muscle', and mysterious? Yes.

But also, there's an old rich lady with evil-sass, and I can read all her lines out loud in my most waspy-rich-lady voice, and it brings me cackling joy.

Is every room just a liiiiiitle bit over-described, even if we may never see that room again, or the details won't really matter if we do go back? Yes.

But also, the book is set in Texas, and the authors (Ilona Andrews is a penname for a couple that writes together) CLEARLY have been to Texas and care about its plants and environs, which feels so genuine and nice to an Texas ex-pat like me.

So - in essence, this is the literary equivalent of potato chips to me, and dang it, I like indulging in some good chips sometime. This is like the perfectly spiced chip to me, one I can pour into a bowl and enjoy while hanging out with my partner, chuckling at random times, as we watch a little silly video together.

If these books are at your library, go get in this! Maybe this series is just a me-thing, but the positive reviews seems like this isn't a one-person catnip thing.

[thatnerduknow98]

Look I’m smart. I know that I am to the alien what Mr Oranges is to me. The alien even calls me some name in his language that I’m pretty sure is the English equivalent of “Little dingus.”

But he also feeds me stuff that is way better for my health than what we ever produced on Earth. And I don’t have to do anything for it - I don’t have to work or even beg. He just sees my fridge is empty and puts food in it. It’s a little bland but I just add some sautéed onions and garlic to everything and it helps. He’s picked up on the fact that I add garnishes and spices to the food he provides and has even started cultivating it himself to try and infuse it into my meals, which I appreciate, however it is never enough seasoning.

I know I’m in captivity. But he understands my boredom and has studied my species enough to know I just need some kind of stimulation. He’s watched me give Mr. Oranges little catnip-infused felt mouse toys, and has since given me yarn myself. I know how to hand crochet so I make these long blankets. Mr. Oranges tries to destroy them while I make them.

He just seems to want to observe me. He doesn’t use a whole lot of verbal language around me. In fact, I think he’s species communicates telepathically more than by voice, much like Mr. Oranges used to do with Shadow on our spaceship before it crashed and we got stuck here. I guess we were a gift to our caregiver by the human distribution system.

Sometimes he gives me random objects of no obvious nature to see what I do with them. Most of the time it depends on my mood. The first few objects were of a glass like material - clear and sharp when broken. I was scared and trying to present myself as a threat so I broke them and tried to use the pieces as a weapon. Mr. Oranges sensed my fear and would have my back - literally jump on me claws out, hissing at the alien.

The alien - who is in size to me as I am to Mr. Oranges - was unphased. Just curious. I think he picked up on my fear after that because he gave me a bigger living space and stayed a little further back from me the next few days.

One time I cut myself on the sharp stuff and bled pretty profusely. It took the alien a long time to realize what was happening, but once he figured out I was hurt he brought out this solution that he put on my hand and it significantly helped reduce the injury. I tied some extra fabric that’d ripped from my clothing around it. The next day, I woke up with more fabric-like material in my living quarters to make new clothes with. Except I didn’t know how to sew, and I didn’t have a needle and thread, so I just left it alone.

That is to say, being an alien’s pet was rough at first. But then Mr. Oranges found a chalk rock in our enclosure.

I started doodling with it out of boredom. The alien got closer and then left, then came back with more chalk rocks in more colors. I started drawing pictures of the items he’d given me and items I needed, like the fabric and needle and thread, and it took some back and forth but eventually I got what I needed. This is mostly how we communicate now. I don’t think their species has a written language though because I write words and the alien doesn’t write anything back. We just draw pictures.

I began to draw the things I needed in my enclosure until I had a bed, table and chairs, garden and even materials to make art with. It was really nice to be cared for enough I could just focus on making art and playing with Mr. Oranges.

Today he drew me a picture of my spaceship. Then he brought what looks like a map of space. But I was so far lost from the crash that I had no idea where I was. I just tilted my head to the side, the same way Mr. Oranges tilts his head to indicate confusion.

The alien’s body slumped as if he were sighing. Suddenly Mr. Oranges jumped on one planet on the map and aggressively meowed at me, as if to say, “Our planet is right here, dumbass.” I looked more closely at it and realized it was in a galaxy that resembled our Solar System. Mr. Oranges had, in fact, pointed out Earth.

I pointed again, and the alien’s expression lit up. He placed his hand - I think it was a hand - in my enclosure as if to carry me, so I grabbed Mr. Oranges and willingly boarded. He took us through his facility, which I determined was some kind of laboratory. We passed lots of different aliens studying various species across the universe. The big thing I noticed was that everyone was kind - there was no “experimentation” going on in the way humanity always imagined. We stopped in a big room with more aliens studying more species.

I recognized these species. They were from Earth. There were no humans, but several plants and animals. None of the plants were anything I managed to cultivate in my garden, but they were mostly ornamental plants I knew from before I became an astronaut, like ivy and roses. The alien lowered his hand and I got a closer look. The ivy was poison and there were snakes in the garden. I clung to his - thumb? - desperately and Mr. Oranges hissed at the snakes. He pulled his hand back up and gave an expression as if to say “sorry.” He conferred with the other aliens studying, who then pointed out another enclosure of mice. I could tell by their body language they were communicating without speaking, and I assume the other aliens were explaining the food chain to my alien.

He then decided to test my compatibility with other Earth creatures by placing his hands down in near the various enclosures. When we got to the dogs, I pointed to them and jumped, and the alien set me down. I was then bombarded with lovins. Mr. Oranges, however, chose to stay on the alien’s hand. My alien then beckoned his lab partners to watch, and even found a toy to give us to play with. I showed them all how we play fetch. They were delighted.

The aliens let us play for a while, but then they were ready to try something different. I booped the dogs goodbye and boarded the alien’s hand again, to Mr. Oranges’ delight.

The alien set me down outside the remnants of my spaceship. There were what appeared to be construction materials around the broken capsule, as well as more chalk rocks. I was a pilot, not an engineer, so I didn’t know how to fix it. I drew a stick figure on the ground and pointed to myself, then drew more stick figures on the ground to represent my team. I drew the spaceship and the stick figures building the spaceship, and myself flying it, hoping he would understand. He looked at me somberly, as if to say he’d found my team and they wouldn’t be able to help.

I tried to recover the captains log to see if I could get any coordinates to home, but it was destroyed. I would be stuck here a while. Still, the alien treated me well. And I learned a little about his world too.

They were giants there, but my alien was smaller than the others. I deduced that meant he was a young one, teenager perhaps. The laboratory I am housed in is like a school — Mr. Oranges and I are a science experiment. The alien took me to his home once. It was a rather large cave-like dwelling, but it was decorated with different types of art. Even the little chalk drawings I do to communicate with him are on the walls. His family (I think it was his family) was amazed at my presence. They pat his head like my dad did when I won the science fair all those years ago.

In some ways, being a pet is so nice. There are no worries, I do not struggle and the freedom to do whatever I want without a time frame is wonderful. But sometimes I miss my home. I know the alien senses that, because he studies my drawings of Earth and keeps trying to make my enclosure look like what I draw. It’s endearing, actually. I try not to lose my composure when he’s watching, but sometimes the agony is too great. I miss my family. I miss my pets. I miss my home.

In other ways, I am glad I am here. I get to share knowledge of humanity with an alien, and I’m the first to do so. That’s really neat.

It turns out that, rather than space orcs, humans are more like space cats. We believe ourselves to be the best species in the galaxy when we actually are taken care of by more advanced aliens while doing little more than be adorable and destroy local wildlife when left to our own devices.

[baaahphomette]

Sherlock is common domain, so here is my take on Hudson! I made Sherlock a girl, so why not have a Mr. Hudson?

His lore runs deep. He had a troubled past but he’s now living his best life in Baker’s street. Hudson isn’t his original last name, he’s originally a Baskerville, which is associated with a cult in my version, so he took his wife’s surname.

- He is a hippie and was an activist in the 60-70s. That’s how he met Mrs. Hudson.

- He has a cat who hates everyone but Mr. Hudson.

- He sees Sherlock as the daughter he never had.

- His favourite movies are the LOTR trilogy and the Big Lebowski.

- He has a tiny little garden in the patio of his flat. He grows catnip for his cat.

- He drinks marijuana tea for his arthritis, just like Hudson in the books does.

- He has a few siblings, he’s the oldest.

- He has a few nieces and nephews, one of which will be this story’s equivalent to Henry Baskerville.

[vtoriacore]

consider: leona and grim on catnip

i am considering it !! i feel like it's the equivalent to weed for them but stronger. having a stoned leona would be so fun tho, but i think grim would exhaust himself within the first 5 minutes and just fall asleep. now you get to pet his head and enjoy the silence, congrats yuu you've done the unthinkable!

.

yuu: hey leona i-

leona after ingesting 4 catnip brownies: are things actually real when we look at them? or do they only become real once we see the light bouncing off the object? i think we need to go over quantum mechanics and the principal laws of physics to get the answer so get me a-

yuu: leona, respectfully, what the fuck?

leona: if you can't help me uncover the answer then get out my damn room. you're not real when i don't look at you anyway.

yuu: ruggie, what did you give him?

ruggie: i haven't done anything this time actually, i think he found catnip. this room smells horrible.

yuu: . . . so if i give it to grim-

ruggie: don't, you'll get another socrates. anyways, you wanna rob him or are we just gonna stand there tolerating this nonsensical bs?

[that-foul-legacy-lover]

I've followed you for a little while now (for some reason, I'm a bit nervous all of a sudden) but I present to you:

CHILDE WITH ZOOMIES

-and-

CHILDE WITH THE EQUIVALENT OF CATNIP

I mean, we have many people comparing the mothy boy to a cat, so zoomies!

Would he crash into things? Would he teleport just before hitting things? Or does he just teleport everywhere until he gets tired? Or or or, what if the smaller he is the more often he gets them? He'd probably try to control them (especially when he was bigger), out of consideration for the (many) breakable things in your living quarters. I mean, all that energy has to go somewhere. Maybe in Teyvat, you can tell when the traveler has missed a week or two of intense sparring. Maybe he slowly ends up vibrating with all this energy he's trying so hard to contain.

Some things have gotten broken, but nowadays you've gotten to know him well enought to when he really needs to zoom around

Also I'm curious on what a loopy moth boy would be like lol

don't be nervous my dear!!! i am very nonthreatening, i promise!!!!

and i ADORE THIS OH MY GOODNESS!! i think Childe gets zoomies only after he starts living with you, since before all that energy was being used up trying to survive on his own in the wild, so once he's living somewhere safe and gets healthier there's a whole bunch of energy that needs to go somewhere!! and yes, it does manifest in him running around your house, accidentally scratching the floorboards and breaking some of your things- and honestly, he kind of hates it BECAUSE of those last two things. you've been so good to him and he likes you a lot!!! he doesn't want to ruin your house :(( plus, there've been a good few times where you've almost stepped on the shards of some vase or trinket.

he takes up sparring with the Traveler again whenever they visit, although they both have to go easy because you get upset when Childe comes home all battered :(( and when the Traveler's not available you sneak him out of the city so he can beat up some hilichurls, or he poofs into his smaller form and just has fun running around outside!! one thing that's always certain though is that after all Childe's energy is used up, he wanders back and plops his head into your lap with a tired huff, grabbing for your hand until you get the message and start ruffling his soft hair. he had zoomies, now he wants pets!!!

ABYSS CATNIP- CATNIP FOR FOUL LEGACY. if Foul Legacy gets his claws on that, he is SO clingy. becomes very VERY mushy and sleepy and just wants to snuggle all day with you!!! he bleps at you so often and bumps his head very firmly against your shoulder until you relent and lay down beside him in his nest of blankets, and he WILL lay on top of you like a weighted moth blanket, staring and purring lovingly until he passes out and you're unable to get up (not that you want to, because Childe is comfy and warm and very fluffy <33)

[dragonsorceress22]

Fic Auction for Charity!

Alright y’all! The time has come! Now through Sunday, August 28th 11:59PM (Central Daylight Time) YOU have the power to guide my hand and decide which of my many, many, (many) kaishin WIPs will take priority and ascend to the top of my list!

This is part of a charity event run by @ficwritersforreproductiverights !

How??

Well, I’m an accountant. So we’re gonna use money. Every dollar donated to any reputable charity anywhere in the world that is fighting to support and protect reproductive rights will be 1 vote. (More details below the cut.)

Show me the options!

Vampire!Shinichi

Gay drama! Kaito’s deeply closeted and dealing with some internalized homophobia and it’s ruining his and Shinichi’s relationship. Can love conquer all?

Porn! Starts out with a sexy dream and a bit of voyeurism, ends with actual sexy times~

Other porn! Involving blindfolds and a bit of roleplay

I’d be happy with any one-shot fluffy get-together fic if it means you’ll have something new to post faster~❤

Detective Conan Movie Cut Scenes: Private Eyes' Requiem

Look, DS, I just want you to focus on the the next installment of the Fall into Flying universe!

(More details on each of these below the cut.)

Remember, our goal here is to raise as much as we can to support and protect reproductive healthcare for all!

The world’s gone mad. Let’s write our way out. ✍

Tell me more about how voting works?

There is a $1 minimum as $1 = 1 vote (If donation is in a different currency I'll go with the closest reasonable equivalent.)

First, pick a charity. If you already have some that you like, that’s great! If not, try this helpful list!

Next, make a donation and take a screenshot of your confirmation that shows which charity you donated to and the amount donated.

Send that screenshot to me either on tumblr, on discord (DragonSorceress22#9937), or by dropping it in this google doc here – whatever you find easiest. (Please be sure to black out or exclude any sensitive personal info in your screenshot! Safety first!)

Along with your screenshot, tell me which option number(s) you want to support:

For example, if you really really really, want vampire!Shinichi to win, and you made a $10 donation to Charity A, you can send me your screenshot and say “all 10 of my votes are for Option 1!”

Or what if you can’t decide which is better: porn 3 or porn 4? You could split your donation total and say, “5 votes for Option 3 and 5 votes for Option 4!”

Or any variation thereupon

There is a $1 minimum but there is no maximum! If you want to come in absolutely wreck the system by making it rain because you’ve just GOT to have that Gay Drama™ in your life, you can do that! If you want to give a little to a lot of different charities, or go all in on one charity you really love, it’s all good!

Say more words about these fic options… 👀

Vampire!Shinichi. Working title: Different Means. This fic would also feature magicalblood!Kaito (he’s basically vampire catnip in this scenario, let’s be real) and would be rated E for sexy times as well as for violence. (Whump? You better believe it.) The idea belongs to @kiwilart and their friend, but I got real obsessed with it and they said it would be okay if I wrote my take on it : ) This would be a little bit of a longer fic. Probably with chapters instead of a one-shot.

Gay drama! Working title: runner. Kaito’s deeply closeted and dealing with some internalized homophobia and it’s ruining his and Shinichi’s relationship. Can love conquer all? Well this one’s got a happy ending, so yeah, I guess it can lol It will be rated either E or M for sexy times – not sure yet. I’m guessing this will be a one-shot.

Porn! Working title: It Was Only Just a Dream. Starts out with Shinichi having a sexy dream and Kaito having a bit of voyeurism. Ends with actual sexy times~ Rated E. No plot. One-shot.

Other porn! Working title: Rival Fantasy. Involving blindfolded Shinichi, a bit of bondage, and a bit of roleplay as sort of pre-relationship thief and detective (instead of the practically married couple they already are in this fic). Rated E. No plot. One-shot.

Any one-shot fluffy get-together fic. I’ve got a fluffy get-together G-rated one-shot that I could probably crank out pretty quickly if it’s what the good people want :) Working title: In My Dreams from the song of the same title by Ruth B.

Detective Conan Movie Cut Scenes: The Private Eyes' Requiem. Has it been two and a half years since I posted one of these? Yes. But that doesn’t mean I’m not still working on it. But now you have the power to say, “No more waiting! Give us Kaito’s perspective on the hostages in a theme park and detectives wearing bombs movie!”

Look, DS, I just want you to focus on the the next installment of the Fall into Flying universe! I’ve been working on Blackout for probably three years now, and I’m still only halfway through the eighth chapter. The pandemic messed me up for a while, but if the people decree, I will get my butt back on track and focus in on this mighty beast of a story! This one comes with the bonus factor of tumblr teaser posts every time I complete a chapter! The first seven are already posted ;)

Some general notes:

You are only voting for which of these WIPs I bump up to priority status. If your favorite doesn’t win, that does not mean I’ll never write it, but it could mean you’ll be waiting a much longer time to see it finished.

You may well see me posting items that are not the winner of this auction before the winning fic from this auction. That could be due to the fact that I owe specific people specific fics from other charity auctions, or as part of a commission exchange, or because I tripped and fell on my keyboard and oops I finished this other fic and what am I gonna do, not feed you guys? Please be patient with me.

And that’s it! If you have any questions at all, please feel free to reach out to me with an ask or an at here on tumblr, or a DM or an at over on discord (DragonSorceress22#9937) – whatever you prefer.

LET’S GOOOOOO!!! :D

[shankss-magnificent-ass]

Imagine sneaking a kitten onto Shanks's ship

You: *sees an orange tabby kitten in a pet shop so ginger it's hair is almost bright red* precious ginger baby!

Shanks: *looks over and sees* I don't allow cats or dogs on the ship

You: but look at him, his fur is red! We are the red haired pirates, he'd fit right in!

Shanks: sorry doll

Later

You: just sit tight in my pocket, and I need you to be quiet

Kitten: *mews loudly*

You: shush up now *closes your pocket and walks onto the ship and makes it to your bed room door before someone finds you*

Benn: hey (y/n), I need you to start unpacking the cargo

You: alright, let me just grab something to pull back my hair and then I'll get on it. *Rushes into your room which you've already prepared for the kitten and leaves him in his bed with some food so he doesn't mew and will fall asleep afterwards*

Ten months later

Yassop: hey captain there's something I think you need to see

Shanks: *follows him to see that the cargo hold to see rats had chewing through boxes to get to their supplies* well fuck, this is gonna take a while to clear out

You: *sees shanks and Yassop down the hall* hey what's going on?

Shanks: (y/n) I need you to go ask Benn where the rat traps are?

You: uh okay, I'll be right back

A week later

Ben: they've ruined our back up sails and half of our dry goods and grain storage. We need to get this under control

Shanks: we'll just have to go through every box to find them I guess

You: I might have something that'll help

Shanks: and what would that be?

You: a cat

Shanks: *shocked* a cat?

You: yeah

Shank: you brought a cat on my ship

You: well yeah, but it was almost a year ago.

Shanks: *gawks at you* you've managed to keep a cat cooped up in that room of yours for almost a year

You: well no, I take him outside on deck when you all are asleep and I take him on dry land when we docked.

Shanks: why

You: I woke up to a rat in my bed once. But if you let me keep him he can be the ship's Mauser.

Shanks: fine, let's see him

You: *brings the cat to him* his name is Oslo

Shanks: that's that cat I told you not to get, isn't it?

You: *feels guilty* yes, I couldn't help myself he was too cute

Shanks: he's massive, that's practically a bob cat

Oslo: *a massive twenty pound Norwegian forest cat that you have to hold with both arms*

Yassop: damn thing's fur is nearly the same color as the captain's

You: yeah I didn't know he'd get this big, but he practically acts like the captain too.

Shanks: well he starts work now, let him loose.

Benn: wait, what do you mean he acts like the captain?

You: *puts Oslo down, and pours catnip on the ground*

Oslo: *proceeds to roll it, then get up and start meowing at everyone while rubbing up on your leg*

Yassop: oh my god, he is like the boss, the kitty equivalent of an alcoholic, and flirtatious.

Shanks: I'm nothing like that!

Benn: no, he's pretty spot on

Oslo: *murders a sky raisin and puts it's body in Shanks's lap and loudly chirps at him while rubbing against him for affection and licks his nose*

Shanks: no, okay I see it now... For some reason, anyway get to work fuzz ball

Oslo: *curls up in his lap to nap*

Shanks: insubordinate little smart ass *tries to stand up*

Benn: you're not allowed to move

Shanks: what?

Yassop: if your pet is sleeping in your lap you're not allowed to move, everyone knows that

Shanks: *flops back into the couch cushions and groans in frustration*